#I listened to this EP so much in...early 2019

[liesonthefloordramatically]

“But they love you” Over and over, “They love you” Thousands and thousands of eyes just like mine Aching to find who they are

[eyesopod]

whats ur favourite hippo campus song i would like to know :)

HI OMG OMG. thank u for asking omg. i cannot pick one ur getting 3 (in no particular order): warm glow, vacation, ashtray (and also mojo jojo and yippie ki yay and bambi and)

THANK U AGAIN :3c

[tastywormfood]

Ive tried to get my feelings about Moominvalley s4 into words, but im having a really hard time even accepting them. But ill try!

So here's my thoughts in Moominvalley s4.

Im 23 now and i remember being 12 - 15 figuring out my identity, and the only "representation" in mrdia being basically either "Bury your gays" trope or just queerbaiting. I grew up on a base level thinking i wasnt allowed to exist, and if i still dared to, tragedy would be my only birth right.

I believed i wasnt allowed to live a happy, soft AND queer life, cause no media i had seen had ever showed me that, that was a possibility.

Both the 90's Moomin series and Moominvalley 2019 are my comfort shows. I fall asleep to them at night, i listen to them like a podcast while im working or outside, they even calm my panic attacks. I collect cups, plushies, i collect the Comics and even some of the books.

I have 3 Moomin tattoos. This universe means a damn lot to me, and to thousands of ppl world wide.

As a queer person i find incredible comfort in Tove Janssons work, and you have to be a fool to be unable to see the way Snufkin and Moomintroll are written together.

I have been following this show since early 2020 and have watched interview to interview, ive listened to the podcast more times than i can count, and they knew what they were doing.

From the beginning of the show they deliberately wrote Snufkin and Moomin to be something more, they even confess In a BTS that their Moomin might like Snufkin more than Snorkmaiden. Even the podcast talked about it!! We are not crazy!!!

I feel incredibly gaslit by the entire situation, and suddenly im 14 again being told im reading too much into it.

Idk what happened inbetween S3 and 4, but it felt like all the love and care that came from the show, just disappeared?

Ignoring Snufmin for a second, every episode this season felt like a filler. It has no plot, followed up on nothing from the last seasons, and had an extreme amount of loose ends.

The former seasons, especially s1 and 2 has such amazing writting, character development and just a feeling of patience and of softness, i would watch it and think everything would be okay... But this season felt stripped of every inch of the care Tove Jansson put into her universe.

I want to talk a little about Moomintroll.

One of Moomins character Arcs is his want to grow up, its his need to be taken seriously and his need for independence and adventure. His need to step out of his dads shadow, and to be his own moomin! The character development he had built up through out the seasons, completely and utterly disappeared. There is no trace of anything in s4.

He is right back to where he started in s1, not being able to stand up for himself and say no, not having the confidence to go on adventures and right back to idealizing his dad. If anything this entire season felt like a prequal! Cause at least s1 Moomintroll wanted to learn, and was activily trying to change.

Moomintroll truly felt like a side character this season, i dont even think he has any important moments. Unless you count Comet in Moominvalley (which i dont), where all his independence has disappeared. Moominpapa literally has to push him out. He made one decision that eps, which was to float down the river instead of walking, which ended up being the wrong and slower way.

The regression Moomintroll went threw this season is heartbreaking, and thats not my Moomin.

Focusing for a bit on Snufkin, this season felt like a slap to the face.

They know that Snufkin is one of their most popular characters right? If not the most popular. If anything he is at least in the top 3, not only in Moominvalley but in the rest of the moominverse.

So why did this season feel like Snufkin erasure?

He was barely in it, and when he was all of that glow that normally radiats from him was all gone. He felt like the husk of a character.

This version of Snufkin was on of my favs, cause you could actually see his flaws and disagree with his actions. He had room to grow, and he did, he truly did.

He learned from Moomin just like Moomin learned from him. Their characters Arcs co align witch each other, their relationship and interactions are the pillars of the entire show. Snufkin and Moomintroll are what make the show proceed.

Finding the 2019 show for the first time as an 18 year old gave me confirmation and trust, that i was allowed to live a soft and slow life as a queer person. If Moomintroll and Snufkin could have that kind of beautiful queer slow burn romance, then i had a chance to as well.

They knew that a big part of their viewers are queer, and they knew how popular Snufmin was. They knew what kind of ppl they attracted, or they wouldnt have made it like that.

All the soft moments, the longing, the zoom in on eye contact, the zoom in on hand holding. They said trust us, they said be patient, and then they threw everything they had been building up out and set fire to it.

We got Queerbaited, and i truly havnt felt this feeling for a while. We got actual queer shows now, ofc they all end up being cancelled! But they exist!

This show felt like it was crafted with so much love and care, that i completely let my guard down. The entire queer Moomin community did a 5 year long trustfall, just to hit the floor the last second.

Season 4 of Moominvalley felt empty. It felt lost of all care and love. The first 3 seasons felt handcrafted by warm hands, season 4 felt machine made. Easy to digest, with no real soul.

Season 4 of Moominvalley feels souless.

I have chosen to live in a world where Comet in Moominvalley is a prequal to s4 and that s4 is a prequal to s1. The true last season was S3 and Moominvalley ended with Snufkin and Moomin walking arm in arm. Thats the only way i can Rationalize everything.

I have so much more to say, but ill stop here for now. Hope all of you are doing okay<3

[puckpocketed]

As someone who’s the go-to prospects blog in my mind, do you have any thoughts on Aron kiviharju dropping to the fourth round? The video the Wild shared after he got drafted is soo interesting to me

"Let me tell you one thing, man; you just made the biggest steal of the draft. I promise you that."

29/06/2024 - The Minnesota Wild draft Aron Kiviharju 122nd overall

Aron Kiviharju was supposed to go 1st overall.

Can you be a bust before you ever get drafted? Can the narrative miasma of going 1st overall linger on someone who went 122nd?

Kiviharju’s first game report from the 2024 EP Draft Guide is dated November 24th, 2019. He was 13 back then. According to them, no other player in EP's database — nor in any other draft guide this year — has had scouts' eyes on them so early, for so long. They say he understands the game beyond what's reasonable for a player his age, that he's always excelled while playing above his year level, that even though he's small and light there's something special about his game. Singular, elite, a phenom. This child is the next big thing. He is 13, 14, 15, he is anointed Boysaviour before his voice has cracked.

How many times have we heard this story before?

One day, Aron Kiviharju will be competing with and against players his age. And when that day comes, it might feel a bit odd for the defenceman. For years, ever since Kiviharju was young, he has played up a level, or two, or three. At age 13, he was playing U16 hockey with TPS Turku and, this past season, as a 15-year-old, he started with TPS’ U18 team before moving on to the U20 club. His numbers – 30 points in 35 games – would be deemed impressive for a 19-year-old forward, never mind a young defenceman who only turned 16 in January.

Steven Ellis' article on Kiviharju for Daily Faceoff, early September 2023, broadens the scope of public scrutiny even further:

Time travel back to 2022, and you'll find his name is printed right next to some familiar faces from this year's draft: Macklin Celebrini, Cole Eiserman, Berkly Catton, Ivan Demidov — except, they're all listed as possible challengers to his assumed throne.

And then, the accident.

The glaring flag on Kiviharju's draft profile, and across every report, every interview, and article since is the reality of his stalled potential. A scout’s job is to project a player’s future, but progress is rarely linear. What might halt a once-promising player's progress? Injuries and global pandemics and a poorly managed season or two; these things don't care for destiny. For every realised prodigy there are a dozen more who will fall short of expectations — this is something you pick up fast reading backdated draft guides and sifting through the history of the NHL.

In Kiviharju's case, the dislocated kneecap and the skate cut to the throat are the things most will write about. Behind the scenes, however, there were evidently other factors that contributed to his drop to the 4th round.

You see, every time I think I've escaped it, the size issue comes back.

The belief remains, however, that larger is better. I’m understating just how much it pervades hockey discourses: it’s present in scouting reports and has had measurable impacts on drafting; I hear it on professional and amateur hockey podcasts; it’s thrown out casually during interviews by coaches and fellow players. I can’t read or listen to anything about Faber without stumbling across it — the preoccupation with size. I’ll be very clear here: I’m not reading anything malicious from specific people, I’m not accusing anyone of crimes, and in no way am I implying that ice hockey is unique here. Just the opposite, in fact. I know professional sports hinges upon producing stars, that the commodification of young bodies is endemic to the business. Those stars are, stripped down to the basest definition, workers who perform with their bodies and sell their labour, whose bodies will inevitably be coveted and revered for their adherence to the Platonic Ideal of their respective crafts. For men’s sports, there’s something extra on top of the commodification of children’s bodies — it’s the vernacular of near-fetishistic worship; of the masculine, the oxymoronic youthful-but-mature, the virile. The language used to praise Faber and other young d-men like him has my stomach twisting in a discomfort that I find hard to quantify — players, coaches, and the media all talk about him, and the hockey blinders slip. He’s a “workhorse”, a “stud”, he’s got “a man’s body” — and call it projecting, call it reading too deeply into innocuous statements, but the closest thing I can compare it to is hearing my AFAB body spoken about as an object whose value can be reduced to its function, its usefulness, its closeness to sexual maturity.

Excerpt from the last time I wrote about a Minnesota d-man (sensing a pattern here).

Kiviharju probably would've dropped some places regardless of his injury and missed time; that's where the league is trending right now in terms of draft preference. When you're small, every mistake is amplified by your lack of size. You must be twice as skilled, faster, more consistent.

p. 595, The 2024 Elite Prospects NHL Draft Guide

Kiviharju's media appearances read like someone who is haunted by his draft stock despite his assertions otherwise.

Kiviharju's bold proclamation, caught on GM Bill Guerin’s hot mic, that the Wild just got "the biggest steal of the draft” will likely be associated with Kiviharju's rise — or perhaps his fall — as Minnesota media and fans work at their mythmaking. I don't know if I want to care about some hockey myths anymore. My appetite for them sours day by day. These myths were started by the eyes and hands and mouths of people watching a boy of 11 play hockey, who witnessed him and salivated at his unwritten future. Part of me thinks: I don't want to be complicit in their continued weaving — though I know I will be anyway.

I read what he says in the lead up to the draft and it's like he's telling himself as he tells us; that he will not care, because he is worth more than this.

From Kiviharju's draft day interview, transcribed by me:

Q: What's the biggest thing you learned about yourself going through the rehab process? AK: Kind of like... it's — life is more than hockey. Hockey is the biggest thing for me. I love the sport. I will do this for the rest of my life, for sure. First playing it, then probably I will continue with hockey after my career, so I've been always thinking like that, and I'm still thinking like that, but it's just that it's — more. Life is more than just hockey, there's a lot of things. And there's a lot of different things about myself, kind of like when you don't — if hockey is my fuel and I'm a car and I'm 200 days without getting any fuel, we have to find some new ways how to get that fuel, to keep my car going. - Q: How has your cut healed since U-18's? AK: Yeah so (he gestures to the cut right below his jawline) that was a pretty close one, but thank God we're alive. That's what I kind of meant when I said that this life is more than just hockey. So first you're 200 days without playing hockey and when you come back your first game the World Under 18's a skate cuts your throat open, so it's very close calls, and that's when you remember that this is only hockey.

Whatever happens, I want Kiviharju to hold on to this. Don't get me wrong, I'm rooting for him. In so many ways, he fits the archetype of players I enjoy. I want him to make it to the show and blow everyone's expectations out of the water and bring Minnesota the Cup. I love this team, even if I rarely post about them. Even still, whether he shoots into stardom or he washes out of the NHL, it doesn't fucking matter. It's only hockey.

And he is more than his ability to live up to our myths.

[hooked-on-elvis]

[BEHIND THE RECORD - Elvis onstage from 1969 to 1977] "I Can't Stop Loving You"

Written by country singer Don Gibson, who first recorded it in 1957, RCA Victor released "I Can't Stop Loving You" in 1958, and it became a country hit single. The song was covered by many artists over the years, most notable one being Ray Charles, in 1962, due to how he turned the tune into a No. 1 single on the Billboard chart.

Elvis Presley performed the song in many iconic concerts of his career - from 1969 into the 70s.

The first time Elvis Presley was recorded singing "I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU" was during one of the American Sound Studio sessions, on February 1969. It wasn't an official recording tho. A jam version of the tune was recorded while EP was warming up with his musicians so they could cut the songs that would be released in his LPs for the times following — "From Elvis In Memphis" being the album this recording session was intending to create at first.

Not long after this recording session, "I Can't Stop Loving You" was worked up as a number to Elvis' concerts. Rearranged, the song gained a more dramatic tone than we can listen to from how it originally sounded in Elvis' voice at the recording taped at the American Sound Studio previously, so from this moment on Elvis would perform the tune in quite a few iconic concerts of the latter era of his career, the very start being during his comeback to live performances on July/August 1969, onstage at the International Hotel's showroom in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Soundboard audios with "I Can't Stop Loving You" recorded during his concerts, including in 1969, were released on some his live albums throughout the years, such as "FROM MEMPHIS TO VEGAS (IN PERSON)" [recorded in 1969], "ELVIS AS RECORDED AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN" (recorded in 1972) and "ELVIS: RECORDED LIVE ON STAGE IN MEMPHIS" (recorded in 1974).

Live performances of Elvis singing the song were also officially taped, and they are very known to the fans for obvious reasons because they are part of some of the most notable moments of Elvis' history as a performer.

First official taping of EP performing "I Can't Stop Loving You" live took place during one of his engagement seasons at the International Hotel on August, 1970, as released on "Elvis: That's The Way It Is" documentary, then again on April 1972, filmed for "Elvis On Tour" documentary, and not long after that another performance of this tune was filmed during the "Aloha From Hawaii via Satellite" concert, on January 1973.

BUT, BEFORE WE CAN GO TO THOSE FOOTAGES, HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THE JAM VERSION RECORDED IN STUDIO IN 1969?

— NOTE FROM AUTHOR I love sharing Elvis' performances of the same song over the years, but what I would really love you to listen to now is the 1969 jam version of the song we're talking about, for it sounds so different from the live performances the fans are already very familiar with. I didn't knew about this recording until a few days ago and I loved it so much that this track is the reason why I needed to talk about this song. You will read about the moment EP was recording this song soon after.

Elvis Presley in the waiting room of the American Sound Studio, early 1969.

▼ FEBRUARY, 1969: "I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU", RECORDED AT THE AMERICAN SOUND STUDIO, MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE.

Song starts at 0:35

Album: American Sound 1969 (2019)

It was an American Studio tradition: paying tribute to the chief with a rendition of “This Time,” a Chips Moman-penned hit for Troy Shondell in 1961. Elvis had heard about the rite, and he serenaded his producer at the start of the February session with the few lines that he knew, segueing into Don Gibson’s “It’s My Way,” a song he had asked Freddy to check out the year before. Plunking along on his acoustic guitar, laughing at his own mistakes but singing his heart out, he drew the band into another Don Gibson number, “I Can’t Stop Loving You,” which he would transform into a dramatic show-stopper six month later in Las Vegas. Excerpt from "Elvis Presley: A Life In Music" by Ernst Jorgensen and Peter Guralnick.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

— NOTE FROM AUTHOR COOL, ISN'T IT? 😍 Have you heard the 1969 jam session version before? Don't know about you but I just can't stop loving it. So, now let's hear how that baby sound onstage.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[FOOTAGE]

LIVE PERFORMANCES OVER THE YEARS

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

REHEARSAL ▼

July, 1970.

LIVE ONSTAGE ▼

"Elvis: That's The Way It Is" (August 1970) "Elvis On Tour" (April 1972)

"Aloha From Hawaii via Satellite" (January 14, 1973)

RECORDED LIVE ▼

Live at Convention Center Arena, San Antonio, TX (April 18, 1972)

Live at Madison Square Garden (June 10, 1972)

High Sierra Theatre at the Sahara Tahoe Hotel, Nevada (May 13, 1973)

Live at Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, TN - March 1974

Song starts at 0:38:

I can never get enough of how Elvis' history is so amazing. ♥

What are your thoughts about the jam version of "I Can't Stop Loving You" by EP? I'd love to hear from you.

By the way, do you like this track-to-track-history posts? I've written some so far but I have some others I'd like to share too. If you have any requests, any Elvis Presley songs you'd like to know more about the recording sessions or comparisons of the times a same tune was performed live by Elvis over the years, feel free to hit me with it. I sure will have great fun researching it for you.

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Stereolab

In 1993, Stereolab co-founder Tim Gane told MTV Europe that he wanted to make records like the ones he liked listening to. Not an unusual sentiment but a useful reference point to begin with this 85-track, six-and-a-half hour exhumation of his band’s back catalog.

Formed in 1990 with Laetitia Sadier, the only other consistent member, Stereolab are themselves archivists. Beginning in 1992, the five Switched On releases have gathered rarities, singles, EPs and demos between albums for fans who couldn’t keep up with their occasionally prolific output. So nothing here is new. They also released remastered and expanded versions of their first seven albums in 2019.  Which begs the first question, do we need this all together and all at once?

At every point in Stereolab’s career, critics and fans have struggled to discuss Stereolab without referencing their influences. From their early guitar and organ driven garage drone to Neu! style Krautrock, the lounge sounds of Esquivel, Denny and Meek, Ye-Ye, bossa nova, tropicalia, Reichian minimalism and spacey noodling, Stereolab have wandered into many of the byways of pop music history often combining disparate elements in surprising ways. And it seems one’s attitude to them can depend largely on how you react to this magpie approach. I know people who swear by one particular Stereolab LP or sound but have no interest or regard for the rest. And this notion that they are pretentious dilettantes or somehow phony seems to linger. But for me at least there are constant threads that define them even as you move through the diversity on this compilation. 

Sadier’s voice is a deceptively dulcet instrument for her lyrics, sung in French and English and steeped in Marxist dialectic and Situationalist social critique. Her harmonizing with multi-instrumentalist Mary Hansen (from 1992 until her untimely death in 2002) was a key to some of Stereolab’s best moments. The densely layered guitars, analogue keyboards and motorik rhythms of well-known songs like ‘“French Disko,” “La Boob Oscillator” and “John Cage Bubblegum” still sound great. The keen melodic sense that mitigates the whimsy of some of their more outre space lounge moments like “One Note Samba/Surfboard” and “Outer Bongolia.” The groove jams and esoterica of their Can referencing collaborations with Nurse With Wound “Trippin’ with the Birds” and “Simple Headphone Mind.”  These are all highlights for me. Having seen them live at various junctures in their career I can say that when they hit their groove they can be a mesmerizingly heady experience. 

Intro by Andrew Forell

Andrew Forell: I know that this collection is an exhausting proposition especially if you haven’t listened to much or any of their music but I’m interested to hear what you all have to say about the band and which elements of their music particularly strike you positively or otherwise.

[Before we got into the main discussion, there was some preliminary kvetching about the six-hour length of the compilation.]

Bill Meyer: Stereolab is a bit like cake and ice cream, you only need so much at a time. 

I finally took the plunge and have made it through 26 songs — I am on 27 as I type it. I think I’m already pushing past the point where I recognize any of it, since I only heard Switched On 1 and 2 upon original release. Some of the songs hold up pretty well —  “French Disko” is a crowd pleaser for a reason, and if I was in the crowd, I’d be pleased to hear it, too. But a lot of their music relies upon the appropriation of familiar elements  — the Neu groove, the Modern Lovers riff, the “sounds like something I heard in an old French movie” interludes. Even though they didn’t use samplers much, at least not during the years that I was listening, they bring a sampling-age approach that flexes the recognizability of their mostly 1970s-vintage influences. This is not a new observation, of course, but since I have barely listened to them for 10-15 years, I think I’m being reminded of why I haven’t felt like I needed to go back. I’m certainly more likely to put on a Neu record than a Stereolab record these days. 

Jonathan Shaw: I don't have one Stereolab record with which I have that sort of relationship, but it's relevant here that Refried Ectoplasm, the second Switched On volume, was the first Stereolab release I spent any serious time with. I loved it, still do, and soon came to love the first Switched On comp even more. By the time The First of the Microbe Hunters appeared, I had tuned out. The lounge jazz and fizzy Tropicalia reminded me too much of Pizzicato Five — not quite as irritating, but just as blithe. No thanks. It's the guitar-forward version of the band that I like best. I know I am not taking a bold position by saying that "Lo Boob Oscillator" is a surpassingly great song; it's still my favorite thing on Refried Ectoplasm.

It might be less of a common opinion that "Doubt" is a quintessential Stereolab song. Ebullient and anxious in equal measure, it prompts you to get up and boogie even as it saws away at your Achilles tendons. You collapse, pull yourself into a chair, and start sit-dancing, because the song just won't stop being itself.

Jennifer Kelly: Yes, I also was surprised at how muscular some of the early material was.  I'm listening to "Brittle" right now, and sure it has the boppy, cheery vocals, but there's a good bit of bass and guitar churn at the foundation of it.  It's a lot rougher and more visceral than I envisioned Stereolab to be.  I sort of picture a spaceship lifting off during a 1960s French rom.com, you know?

I have a nodding familiarity with Stereolab — pretty sure I saw them in 2006, interviewed Laeititia one time on a solo record, had one or two records at one point — but never really latched on in any committed way.  Gotta say, though, while I was listening to this stuff, I kept hearing other bands and thinking, damn, that's from Stereolab.  Winged Wheel, a whole bunch of Trouble in Mind bands (Dummy, En Attendant Ana) etc.  Their influence is undeniable. 

Jonathan Shaw: Funny, "churn" is a verb I also had in mind this morning, listening to "Contact" and getting lost, for like the zillionth time, in its drony flow.

Alex Johnson: Churn indeed, and I'd throw in "grind," too, for a track like "ABC" — although not so much the outro, which is cool in and of itself and, for me, a different sort of departure in a lo-fi singer-songwriter way. I'm most familiar with Mars Audiac Quintet, so hearing the grittier side of the band here is really expanding my sense of them.

Jonathan Shaw: Mars... is the last Stereolab record I really liked. Pretty great that one of the tunes there is named (sorta) after an Alfred Bester novel. Their pop cultural references are always spot-on, but when the band started getting more clever about working pop forms into their own music ("Outer Bongolia," for example, or "Jump Drive Shut-out"), for some reason it fell flat for me. I think I like the relative spareness and rigor of the early music, which created an interesting tension with the attentions to pop's consumerist, superficial pleasures. 

Bryon Hayes: Interesting, Jonathan, that Mars was the last album you liked.  It was actually my introduction to the band; my friend played me the album when I was a junior in high school and it instantly struck a chord, as it was anathema to the bratty, aggressively punk-influenced, indie rock that I was listening to at the time.  One thing that stood out at the time was that the comparatively softer-sounding nature of music (as opposed to what I was into before I heard this), and the sing-song vocal harmonies, belied the powerful ideology behind the lyrics.  Take the chorus of "Three-Dee Melodie," for example: "The meaning of existence / Can't be supplied by religion or ideology" repeated over and over again.  Such a powerful statement, and it raised a lot of questions in this Catholic schoolboy's mind.  

Over the years, I paid far more attention to the full-length LPs, so I'm pretty much hearing the songs from the Switched On series for the first time.  Right away, I definitely hear the "churn" and "grind" that Jenny and Alex refer to.  I hear it in the rapid-fire, almost motorik drumming and that thick, buzzy synth on "Super-Electric," from Switched On Volume 1.  The band knew how to balance propulsion, spaciness, and bounciness across their music. 

<Hours go by> 

OK, when you get to Aluminum Tunes, the songs seem to be more intricate, informed by French pop, exotica, and electronic weirdness.  I think this material came after the period in which Sean O'Hagan was a member, so I wonder if his influence has rubbed off on the band.  I like this phase of Stereolab equally, so it's neat to hear their evolution as the Switched On series progresses.

Christian Carey: I'll fess up to being the one geeking out to the whole boxed set. Sure, mileage varies, but I don't think there will ever be another Stereolab album. With the passing of Mary, there is no more band. So this is a chance to savor the band without any expectations. I am interested in their work in other contexts, much of it different from Stereolab.

Ian Mathers: "I know people who swear by one particular Stereolab LP or sound but have no interest or regard for the rest."

Hi, it's me! When I first got to university in 2000 there were these huge periodic used-CD sales that filled the courtyard of the student center for a few days at a time, and right after I moved into residence I picked up a battered CD copy of Emperor Tomato Ketchup for $4 (along with my first Fall album, Code: Selfish, but that's another story). I don't know how often others have the experience of falling hard for an album in a way that leaves you with virtually no desire to investigate further (which feels especially odd when it's a band who already has many other records out there), but despite my immediate and now long-lasting love for ETK it took me years to move beyond it. Well, I mean, I listened to Sound-Dust a few times when it came out but found it impenetrable and lacking most of what I loved about the earlier album, and that probably cooled my interest a fair bit. So far of the other records I've tried the only one I've also liked is Peng! Respect to Gane, Sadier, et al for following their muse, and I certainly know plenty who love more of what they do, but I've been pretty content to love a couple of Stereolab LPs and not the band as a whole.

So when Andrew asks "do we need this all together and all at once?" for me, at least, the answer on the face of it is definitely "no and no." But there is a reason the band have also put together Little Pieces of Stereolab (A Switched On Sampler), and I am definitely part of the target audience for it. I have read in the past how the first two Switched Ons, especially, are worth investigating for someone who likes Stereolab in the way that I do, and even if it's nearly 75 minutes long that still qualifies as just dipping your toe in when compared to the breadth (chronologically, sonically, and temporally) of the whole series.

The approach is as basic as you could expect, three tracks from volume. The "sampler" description is more than incidental; if this was any sort of potted "best of" you might expect the three tracks from Refried Ectoplasm to be "Lo Boob Oscillator," "French Disko," and "John Cage Bubblegum" instead of only the latter making the cut. It's paired with "Tone Burst (Country)" (clearly a bit of an outlier) and the wonderful "Tempter," which does make me think looking more closely into these early volumes might be worth my while. So does the whole selection from the original Switched On, "The Light That Will Cease to Fail," "Changer," and especially "Doubt" reminds me that my feelings of polite admiration rather than love for a lot of the Stereolab I've heard has as much to do with them moving away from a sound I really love as it does with the things (genres, sounds, structures, etc) they moved to being ones I'm not necessarily interested in.

And while I definitely tried to keep my mind and ears open for the rest of the sampler, I have to admit my visceral enjoyment of the proceedings fell off more than a bit when I hit the material from Aluminum Tunes and onwards. One big (in a couple of senses) exception is the 21-minute "Trippin' With the Birds," with Nurse With Wound, and I did go back and listen to the 13-minute "Animal or Vegetable (A Wonderful Wooden Reason...)" on the full Refried Ectoplasm, which also features Steven Stapleton doing whatever the hell he wants with their music. Both great, but the former especially feels out of step with its surroundings.

Hearing this condensed version of Stereolab's progression over the years does make me think that their increasing interest in and use of referents and sounds I find less immediately compelling has gone along with a change in their songwriting. Even back on Peng! you had tracks that seemed content to just bask in the beauty of the sound the band makes, but more recently it feels to me like there's an increasing emphasis on texture and atmosphere as opposed to, you know... song-ness. There's nothing at all wrong with that approach, and it's not that I think Stereolab started making bad music, it's just that there are a bunch of melodies, riffs, and choruses on their earlier work that I get stuck in my head, and the later stuff (at this point, most of their career) doesn't do that for me.

So I'm glad for the reason to dive back into Stereolab and see what I've been missing/how my reaction to their work might have changed, but I find I'm in roughly the spot I might have guessed I would be; I think I should check out the first two volumes of Switched On, and can probably pass on the rest (well, maybe give them a listen or two to cherry pick some of the stronger examples of their later work out of there...).’’

Jonathan Shaw: Ian, you may be happy to hear that when I saw the band in 2019 "Percolator" and especially "Metronomic Underground" were among the hottest songs in a hugely engaging set (tho "Miss Modular" left me cold, like the rest of Dots and Loops); hard to do "...Underground" without Mary Hansen, but they made it work. Sadier seemed to be having a great time playing, and while Gane and Co. looked like a group of Cinema Studies profs who'd just wandered out of an especially esoteric conference panel, the band cooked.

Agreed that the collabs with Stapleton are always interesting. "Simple Headphone Mind" is excellent comedown music, even for those of us that no longer actively eat psychedelics. The odd flashback, on the other hand...

Bill Meyer: Ian, I’m with you on the merits of Emperor Tomato Ketchup. While I was aware of Stereolab from 1992 on, to me that record was their peak. It was warm, punchy, and consistently catchy with some great stand-out tunes. Before that, they had great tunes stirred into too-long records. I checked my collection and it ends with a promo cdr of Sound Dust whose ability to still play I have not yet confirmed, but which I recall finding opaque and uncompelling at the time it was released. 

For me, Stereolab is a band that would have benefitted from something I suspect they would never have submitted to, which is a hard-nosed producer with veto power. It’s not that I only like the catchy hits; they made some great side-long tunes, too. But there’s a lot of Stereolab music that never quite comes into focus the way that Emperor Tomato Ketchup did, and as I have waded into the later Switched On material that is new to me, I don’t hear much that’s changing my mind. I also remember finding them uneven as a live band back in the day; Sometimes they could take me places, sometimes they were kind of dull. Thus when they reunited, I did not return to the well.

Ian Mathers: Funnily enough, Jonathan, I was actually thinking while listening to all this that despite my relatively lukewarm feelings towards most Stereolab LPs, I bet they hit pretty hard live. "Metronomic Underground" is easily my favorite song of theirs, and while modern ticket pricing suggests I'd be hasty to pay just for the chance to see that one, I am tempted. (Although I am taking on the other report, of live inconsistency, as well!)

Bill, "stirred into too-long records" is absolutely touching on one of my biggest roadblocks with most of the other pre-ETK albums. Peng! coming in at just under 48 minutes is secondary to how much I like "Super Falling Star," "The Seeming and the Meaning," etc. in my affection for it, but... it's a surprisingly close second. There are plenty of artists where I adore a good hour-plus album, or doubles or triples (or box sets), but Stereolab isn't one of theirs. I had the chance to review Chemical Chords, their last pre-hiatus LP, for the Village Voice at the time and although I don't think my piece was very good I did note approvingly at the time that they seem to have discovered concision in a way that worked for them. 14 tracks, sure, but an average length of just under three and a half minutes (and no epics)! That record is self produced, like everything after Sound-Dust. And on earlier records Stereolab is almost always listed as a co-producer, which isn't surprising; they feel like a band both capable of and willing to exert a certain level of control over that production. Emperor Tomato Ketchup and Dots and Loops had John McEntire working with them (Mouse on Mars' Andi Toma too, on the latter), and then Jim O'Rourke joined McEntire for the next couple. But even on the few ones where Stereolab isn't listed as co-producing, "The Groop" is usually down as mixing. So more than a lot of bands, it seems they're pretty hands-on with the post-performance stuff.

I agree that Stereolab working with a strong producer would be interesting. The question is, who do we think would be a good fit and/or introduce some interesting tensions into their work? I think between his work with Mogwai, Low, and Mercury Rev it might be interesting to see what Dave Fridmann would be like.

Bill Meyer: I suspect that ship has passed. The band might get back together to play the old songs, which makes sense since people love ‘em and Stereolab is a much bigger and more compensatory draw than anything that Gane or Sadier do on their own. But the couple has been divorced for quite a while, and if they’ve been able to make anything together since reuniting in 2019, I don’t know about it. I doubt that the rapport and creative chemistry they once had still exists. I think that what they needed was not someone with a particular sound, but someone who could have combined an ability to facilitate their sound production and respect for their intentions with a readiness to say, “that song needs to be better before you put it on a record.” 

Ian Mathers: That's a much harder quality to spot from the outside, I guess. Also, I apparently forgot they were divorced (or, quite frankly, that they were married)!

Jonathan Shaw: Old songs and the reunion tour — those are always an anxious coupling. One wonders about intentions. But the old songs that crop up on the later editions of Switched On are a treat. I really like the Low Fi EP, which was Hansen's first record with the band and appeared on Pulse of the Early Brain, the most recent Switched On. "(Varoom!)" feels a bit like a demo version of "Revox," a great track from Refried Ectoplasm. But I like the stretched out and distended quality of "(Varoom!)." It's too long, a little unwieldy, not a trance-inducing drone or a dance marathon. Just a groove the band couldn't seem to let go of, which then bottoms out into an extended, abrasive slurry. I don't know if that functions as a sort of metaphor for this collection, but there are similarities with qualities we have already marked: too long; unwieldy. For all that, and even with my own lack of clarity for why these records have been bundled in this collected set (left-handed career retrospective? cash generator? vanity project?), it's been deeply pleasurable to revisit some of these songs. 

Ian Mathers: Interestingly enough, "(Varoom)" is from one of two early EPs not included in the Bandcamp version of these compilations, due to "digital licensing restrictions." I think it's because they were on Too Pure instead of the band's own Duophonic imprint; so were their first two LPs and the original Switched On comp (which you can order from but not stream on BC) but the rest of Switched On presumably made it in because Too Pure were just licensing those tracks themselves. Regardless "(Varoom)" is great (both halves; if anything I find that more aimless second part a bit more compelling, weirdly) and exactly the kind of thing I wouldn't have listened through all of these to get to without some signposting from others.

Christian Carey: What's interesting to me in listening to Stereolab is that the evolution of their work, at least in some ways, mirrors the technical resources available to contemporaneous artists, particularly other electronica. Their palette morphs. Does anyone else notice that?

Bryon Hayes: I definitely notice it on Dots and Loops, where John McEntire introduced the band to ProTools and Andi Toma added electronic wizardry to their already eclectic sound world.

Jonathan Shaw: "(Varoom!)" is a fun title, but also gets at something I have been thinking about as I have been listening. Varoom! It's like 1980s kids quoting from The Jetsons, an ironized imitation of the sound of propulsion that hasn't lost its grip on the fact that ironies can be fun. I like the Stereolab songs from that early-1990s period: pre-Internet, pre-file sharing, crate-diggers grooving on French vinyl and bossa nova sides, Farfisa organs and mid-1960s aesthetics linked to the analog tech that was the material real. I listen and I think about this from Fredric Jameson, from his long essay on Adorno in Marxism and Form: "as in the larger world of business and industry, we find a tiny history of inventions and machines, what might be called the engineering dimension of musical history: that of the instruments themselves, which stand in the same ambiguous relationship of cause and effect to the development of the works and forms as do their technological equivalents (the steam engine) in the world of history at large (the industrial revolution). They arrive on the scene with a kind of symbolic fitness."

Flash forward ten years. The dot-com bubble had burst. Napster was suddenly a thing. A song like "Dimension M2" sounds like an mp3, brittle and crystalline, the chiptune-ish freakout at the song's midpoint emptying into digital groove that's so slick you can't even feel it passing. It has a symbolic fitness, sounding very much like 2005. But there's no resistance in it, no ironies either buoyant or bitter. It's interesting (if a bit of a bummer, for this listener) to tune into the historical dimension. So much changed in music as Stereolab moved from Duophonic to Elektra. So did their sound.

Andrew Forell: Going back to Ian’s post, I’ve been thinking of Stereolab as a kind of Venn diagram of musical influences that I either like, have been momentarily interested in or I’ve been led to explore more deeply. My first real engagement was with Refried Ectoplasm (Vol 2) when the combination of VU garage & Neu! adjacent (or let’s be honest — idolatry— “Jenny Odioline “ which is great but basically “Fur Immer”) crossed with non-English pop was very interesting to me. Having been a fan of Gane’s band McCarthy & and an old leftie, the addition of the Situationalist lyrics was great.  And yes to Jonathan, that pre-internet time when you discovered stuff through a serendipitous combination of other band’s liner notes, mags, record store peeps  friends & whatever unexplained oddities you found at the back of your parent’s record collection (hello Herb Alpert, Gainsbourg, an early 1960s album of “cocktail party” music & some early 70s Moog music) that led you down weird byways. All of that is to say that for all their musical cul de sacs, they’ve always appealed; although I haven’t loved everything, they have always been a band felt an affinity with.  

[lifessoshortandsoami]

Home >> Member Profiles >> Luna (BTS) Facts and Profile

Luna (BTS) Facts and Profile

Luna Profile and Facts; Luna's Ideal Type

Luna (루나) is a member of the South Korean co-ed group BTS under Big Hit Music.

Stage Name: Luna (루나)

Birth Name: Park Aera (박애라)

Birthday: February 27, 1999

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Height: 153 (5'0)

Weight: 46 kg (101 lbs)

Blood Type: AB+

MBTI Type: INFP

Representative Emoji: 🐼

Luna's Spotify list: LUNA's comfort tracks

Instagram: luna

Luna's Facts:

- She was born in Jinhae-gu, Gyeongsangnam-do, South Korea

-Her family consisted of her adopted Mother and Father.

- Education: Seoul School of Performing Arts; Global Cyber University

- She attended Baek Yang Middle school.

- Luna attended Seoul performing art high school, she graduated in February 2017.

- She is the only girl in the group.

- She loves eating spicy food, sweet food basically everything.

- Her favourite colors are pastel colours. Mostly lavender.

- She speaks Korean, English and Japanese.

- She either needs to sleep on a low height bed or with someone who can hold her because she falls off bed while sleeping. (BTS Run ep. 31)

- She has Arachnophobia (fear of spiders).

-She is a lefty.

- Although she catches a cold easily, she still loves rainy or snowy weather.

- She has a dimple on her right cheek.

- Loves plushies so much that every corner of her dorm (room) and the studio has a plushie there.

-Luna is very clumsy

- She trips, falls, and bumps into things so much that the members had to put corner guards on the furnitures in their apartment. (V-Live)

- She has helped write many songs for her group. Some of them are Magic Shop, Spring Day, Pied Piper, Fake Love, Filter, Make It Right, Life Goes On, Mikrosmos, Young Forever, Serendipity, Whalien 52, 00:00 (Zero O'Clock), and many more songs.

- She knew BangChan from Stray Kids before debuting.

- She is a fan of many groups.

- She is extremely flexible due to learning contemporary dance at an early age.

- Her most comfortable sitting position is wariza or w sitting as everyone says. When the boys noticed her sitting like that they also tried to sit but everyone ended up almost breaking their legs except Hoseok. (Knowing Brother ep. 94)

- One of her favorite things is to play the piano.

- She can also play the violin and guitar very well.

- She is mostly paired with Jungkook or is on his team during Run BTS. There's just some unnatural force that pulls them together (as stated by Jin).

- Has been in many false dating rumors just because of her friendliness.

- She has PTSD and panic disorder due to her biological parents.

- She has said that because she didn't receive much love in her childhood, her members make sure that she feels loved 24/7.

- She is very innocent.

- The members have said that she smells the nicest in BTS. Jungkook even mentioned that Luna's scent is his favorite.

- She loves Taehyung's fashion sense and thinks only he can pull off the outfits he wears.

- The most popular ship in the whole KPop involves her and Jungkook.

- Luna placed 3rd on TC Candler's "The 100 Most Beautiful Faces of 2018", 2nd in 2019, and 1st in 2020, 2021, and 2022.

- She's very good friends with Ariana Grande.

- Her shoe size is 210 mm

- She is said to be a very skilled cook.

- She loves reading books, mostly romance novels.

- The members say that Luna smells very pleasant.

- Luna likes collecting souvenirs.

- Luna's ideal date: "Something sweet, like cooking together at home, eating then cuddles. But if he wants to go out then we could go to a cafe... or a library!"

- Some of her popular quotes are: "You got this, girl! Fighting!" and "Am I dreaming?"

Other members about Luna:

- Suga: "Luna is both just like me and opposite of me at the same. Watching her grow from a little girl to the beautiful women she has become now makes me feel like her dad. (laughs)"

- RM: "Wants to be loved. Very kind and gentle, is timid, selfless. She responds and listens well. Says she wears anything but you can see she's got style, very cute type of clothes. Is bright for everyone but dark for herself, very hardworking and self-criticising. Somehow smells pleasant all the time. Very supportive of others, will cheer for you even for the small achievements. She is a cutie."

- Jin: "I've raised her well, she is my child."

- J-Hope: "I love her personality, although I'd have to say that she is too selfless. Doesn't think about herself, her priorities are always the people she loves. She cares for everyone and makes sure that we're eating well."

- V: "She's very cute, I can never say no to her. I talk to her a lot, she is my safe place. She doesn't get angry, and if she does you don't need to fear her. I actually think she seems cuter when she is angry, and she gets angrier when I say that to her."

- Jimin: "She is too selfless, kind and caring. Very gentle, and innocent. I always talk to her about my feelings and she listens without interrupting, giving me her full attention. Very cute."

- Jungkook: "Too innocent and precious for the world. Very cute. She smells so pleasant all the time. Keeps our dorm room clean, although her plushies are everywhere. I love spending time with her. She's the closest to me, we've been best friends since debut."

- Suga about Luna entering High School: "Luna was the most beautiful one there."

- V about Luna entering High School: "She probably was the shortest, you couldn't see her. She was holding Jungkook's hand or we couldn't have found her in the crowd."

- In the dorm, she shares a room with Jungkook. (180327: BTS' JHOPE & JIMIN - MORE MAGAZINE MAY ISSUE)

- Luna's ideal type is someone who would love her unconditionally. She would like someone with tattoos and piercings. Someone who stays fit. Has a cute personality.

Do you like Luna? Do you know more facts about her? Feel free to comment below.

[do-you-have-a-flag]

my chemical romance a fav band for me ever since their 2nd album/when i was 13

and by a fav i mean listening to entire albums as opposed to the 2-4 songs i usually enjoy per musical artist casually.

that sort of active engagement and seeking out of media/quotes, drawing them, printing out pictures and collecting magazine clippings to put in the back of my school diary, applying their music to other media i like- it's all stuff i did for a handful of artists at the time

and not all of them are musicians i liked every album of, i dropped off with green day and p!atd and fob due to disinterest in their sound after a specific point.

in the 2010s i had a lot of typical early 20s teen nostalgia where mcr's music became a throwback, partially because their last album was danger days/i was not immersed in fandom enough to seek out the eps and b sides, and partially because pop culture had shifted and i had other artists to listen to

so when they announced their return back in 2019 it was in that exact mindset of throwback casual nostalgia enjoyment that i was excited.

and over the years between then and actually seeing them live for the first time in 2023, i slowly shifted from that surface level interest to actively following the fandom and diving back into the details and deep cuts and both refreshing my memory and gaining new experiences and associations with the group

it's such a different vibe now- it feels vindicating to see wider praise for a band that it very much was NOT cool to like when i first listened to them- and the way people engage with their music and entire history is so fascinating as a kind of next gen musicology. it's so funny and kind of good to experience something i grew up with discussed in the same way i saw bands who had their heyday before i was born discussed.

i don't seek out live experiences for every artist i enjoy or have nostalgia for, but it was extremely fun to do the active fan thing and watch the livestreams and get hype over the little details of the tour and line up all day with other fans and see them live with the anticipation only to be had by having expectations from shows i wasn't even at as a reference point!

it was so good and i may not be super active in the fandom circles but i am sooooo glad i decided to get back into being a fan in the here and now rather than a fan who was only nostalgic, either way would have been a blast but it truly feels like i'm unlocking secret bonus emotions this way

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: TXT

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

Here are my credentials: yeah…none. I think the amount of TXT songs I know can be counted on one hand, and besides one, they’re all singles. But like with BTS, I’ve been a K-pop fan for four years and I figured that it was about time I make an effort to give them a try. It’s funny; I feel like with every girl group I cover I’m like “well obviously it was July 2017 because Joy had red hair” and with every boy group I’m like “um…are there seven or eight of them again?”

But I digress. TXT was formed in 2019, by Big Hit Entertainment, with five members (and yes, it’s five, I googled it, I promise), Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Heuning Kai, Soobin, and Taehyun, and they’ve been pretty popular since then, which is an achievement in and of itself, coming from an agency best known for the biggest boy group of all time.

They debuted with double title tracks, the first of which was Crown. With the somewhat moodier image they have now, I didn’t expect to think their debut so adorable, but that’s definitely the word I’d use. Despite them being a 4th generation group, the way this is shot, the bright colors, and the comic book drawings remind me very much of late 2nd, early 3rd gen, which hey, I’m not complaining. The song, fittingly, is upbeat and bubbly, very much pop with some synthy influence. Overall, I liked it, as a 2nd and 3rd fan, but something about it doesn’t leave that much of an impact on me. Maybe it’s that I’m not the biggest fan of very young-sounding music, and this is a little too reminiscent of Chewing Gum by NCT Dream for my liking.

Cat + Dog is also from this first EP, and basically all of the comments I had for Crown repeat here, though I did like Crown more. I know that this is more me than the song, but something about this one just…creeped me out?, in a way that Crown didn’t. I know that they were young when this came out (between 16 and 19), but they’re acting like they’re 10 and it’s a bit unnerving. From the EP The Dream Chapter: Star, I liked the calmer but still poppy beat of Our Summer, though I wish it was a little slower to stand out from the other songs in the album more.

Run Away is a song I’d already heard from TXT, but I like it more in the context of their work thus far. It’s still pop, still full of that youthful energy and hope, but leans into an ethereal and nostalgic feeling, and overall feels a lot more suited to them as older teenagers. It has some good humor, and both its Harry Potter references and its message of running away from the monotony and cruelty of the real world with your friends turns it into something universal.

From The Dream Chapter: Magic, I enjoyed the odd percussion and the melodic chanting in New Rules, the gentle vocals in Magic Island, and the sweet love story between childhood friends in 20 CM. My favorite was probably Can’t We Just Leave The Monster Alive, for the interesting trope deconstruction and its encouragement of taking your own path in life.

Can’t You See Me starts with some interesting almost-stop-motion in its ruffling pages, and I couldn’t decide where I thought it was going to go. At first, it combines both the young love idea of Crown and the themes of magic and isolation from the world from Run, which work pretty well, but it soon devolves into something resembling a cry for help with its unusual structure and odd vocal fry segways. It leans very into ethereal, while speaking about the dark side of a friendship gone bad. It took me a couple listens to make up my mind, but I do like this one.

From The Dream Chapter: Eternity, I had two standouts in Fairy of Shampoo and Maze In The Mirror. Fairy of Shampoo (despite the odd name) feels a bit like floating with its citypop synth and jazzy background, and I wish it’d been promoted as a special single instead of Puma. Maze In The Mirror is another song here that was written by the members themselves about their time as trainees, the difficulties they faced, and their friendship. As I’ve said before, some of my favorite songs in k-pop are this kind of acoustic, genuine b-sides that convey such honest emotions, so of course I loved this one.

Blue Hour’s very calm vocalizing and acoustics caught me off guard before the synths I was expecting came in, and I found myself nodding my head. Like with Run, I appreciated the brightness and humor here much more than I did in the first couple of songs because I thought it was better balanced here without overdoing it on the aegyo. It’s not a world-changing song, but I did have a good time with it and it made me laugh a few times (especially with that cowboy hat because what on earth were they thinking).

Minisode 1: Blue Hour reminds me a lot of BTS’ ON album, down to having a song about COVID (in this case the aptly titled We Lost The Summer), which I can’t bring myself to actually critique because of how sweet it is, though in the year of the whoever 2023 I wince to remember 2020. Besides it, I loved the airy vocals and video game esque synthy production on Ghosting and the anthemic chorus in Wishlist.

0X1=Lovesong was another song I had already heard of TXT’s, because I happen to be a fan of Seori, who’s featured on this track, and I have to say that my biggest gripe with the track is that she’s just not featured enough, but that’s really the only criticism I have of this one. I confess that I love this song, and it was actually the reason I wanted to do this review. Remember how I called Wishlist anthemic? Well, clearly I don’t know the meaning of the word, or didn’t until I heard this song. It takes TXT’s youthful energy and pairs it with a full on alt-rock ballad. It feels like a follow-up to Run with its immaculate roadtrip energy, and though the verses are a bit slow, that chorus is just a knockout and just makes me want to be a kid again, grab my best friend’s hand, and run for the goddamn hills. Probably won’t be lighting a car on fire, though, sorry.

Far be it from me to dissuade from some extra drama, but LO$ER=LOVER…well, it’s giving full on “when I was…a young boy…my father took me into the city…”. No but really, I want to think that this level of ridiculousness is some kind of intentional My Chemical Romance parody, because it’s honestly hilarious. It has some of that anthemic quality that I so loved in Lovesong, but that great build-up in the front half of the chorus is just undercut by a lack of payoff and the abject silliness that is “I’m a loser, I’m a loser, lover with a dollar sign is a loser.” I think that I would like this more if I was sure that the joke is intentional, but I’m honestly not sure that it is. Either way, they’re clearly having a lot of fun with this, so it’s tough to dislike.

From The Chaos Chapter: Fight or Escape, I have a lot to talk about, since it’s such a long album. Firstly, I already knew the chorus of Anti-Romantic due to its popularity, but I liked it more in context with the rest of the song. No Rules (which I assume is a follow-up to New Rules) has a great beat and in my humble opinion, there’s never enough disco. MOA Diary, a song for their fans, is very sweet and I can totally see it being a crowd favorite at a concert; I loved the harmonizing. Dear Sputnik was probably my favorite though; it’s another song written by one of the members and has an excellent alt-rock drive that totally should’ve made it be the single instead of LO$ER=LOVER.

Good Boy Gone Bad had me wincing before it even began, because the title already hints towards more non-self aware drama. And it turns out my instincts were right, because while LO$ER=LOVER is so ridiculous it’s basically camp, Good Boy Gone Bad just had me rolling my eyes and wondering not why the good boy had in fact gone bad but why I had to hear about it. Also why Yeonjun was driving a motorcycle in a faux fur coat, but that’s a story for another time.

From the EP Thursday’s Child, which is the second “minisode”, I liked the intro Opening Sequence more than I expected, mostly due to the charisma in their vocals, which really do the heavy lifting in such a minimalistic song. I also enjoyed Trust Fund Baby (give it a chance, I know the title doesn’t inspire confidence), again due to the strength of their vocals and the emotion they carry, when singing a song about a relationship that’s ended due to poverty. This is overall a very melancholy EP, a sharp contrast to Blue Hour’s optimism. Even the more synthy Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go isn’t totally upbeat, but as an album closer, it does hold a little hope that things won’t always be bleak and ended up being my favorite.

Sugar Rush Ride is, thankfully, a return to the synthy, ethereal, upbeat sound that has become TXT’s signature for its verses and pre-choruses, but for some reason opts for a very simple whistling hook and an incredibly jarring anti-drop chorus instead of resolving its great build-up. The bridge, likewise, feels harsh in what’s otherwise a calm song, and honestly, I find this song more disappointing than I would if it used a style I hate throughout, because I really enjoy the greater part of it…but I just can’t get past that chorus.

From The Name Chapter: Temptation, there’s three b-sides I want to talk about. Devil By The Window is a fully English song, which normally I would complain about, as I often do. But this one’s actually really good; it’s tense, attention-grabbing, and has a very taut arrangement. Also, this is probably me reading too much into it, but the chorus is giving me such queer energy (“I met the devil by the window, traded my life, temptation touched my tongue, spread the wings of desire. He’s whispering ‘give up, don’t you put up a fight.’”). But…c’mon guys, maybe I’ve missed something, but last time I checked straight people don’t get seduced by random devils of the same gender standing near their window, but hey, how should I know?

Besides that, I also liked the acoustic guitar in the pop-rock Farewell, Neverland and the chill vocals here as they sing goodbye both to a childhood lover and to childhood as a whole. Tinnitus (Wanna Be A Rock) pleasantly surprised me with its Afro-pop influences, because it’s not a common pairing in k-pop and I was surprised by how well it works here. Also, apparently some of the members wrote both of these, so kudos!

Do It Like That is an English-language collaboration with the Jonas Brothers, and between its very mainstream pop sound, the English, and its beat, I admit that it gave me war flashbacks to Dynamite. Here is where I invoke my disclaimer of: Dynamite is not a bad song (see my way-too-long BTS review for a whole two paragraphs of thoughts on that), but k-pop doesn’t need to try and replicate it. I know that this is totally down to my own bias, because Do It Like That isn’t a bad song either, but I won’t be returning to whatever concerningly white void they filmed this in anytime soon.

Back For More is another English-language collaboration, this time with Brazilian singer Anitta. I was preparing myself for another paragraph of disclaimers and having to do some overly dramatic sighing, but actually, I liked this! It feels like any other TXT single with its disco influences and catchy beat, just in another language, as it should be. I also appreciate that they collaborated with a Latin pop star, who sings in both English and her own language too, which made it feel less like a cop-out. The first time I heard this one, it was the shortened version that they performed at the VMAs, but the longer version with the bridge really elevates the song and I’m glad I watched it. It’s not my favorite but I’m not going to throw a tantrum if it comes on.

Chasing That Feeling is from their latest comeback just a month or so ago. I was feeling optimistic from the first verse’s beat, although after being burned by Sugar Rush Ride, I was still a bit wary. But, thankfully, Chasing That Feeling does what it predecessors didn’t do: it delivers, with those head-bopping synths, citypop influences, and electronic background. I admit that I wish it had a bit more of a climax and went against the grain, but it’s hard to not be won ever when a song’s chorus starts by saying “I’ve turned my back on heaven” and telling fate “come on and kiss me”.

The Name Chapter: Freefall is another full length album, so I have a lot of highlights. I loved the exploration of a harsher version of rock mixed with metal in the teen angst driven Growing Pain, which their voices were surprisingly suited to. I also enjoyed the vulnerability and slowing rising vocals in Deep Down’s pre-chorus, the acceptance that “life is not a fairytale” but is still worth living in Happily Ever After, and the moody Skipping Stones, which tells the listener not to be too hard on themselves, because what they’re going through will pass. I think that Skipping Stones was also written by the members themselves.

So, I enjoyed this more than I expected! I confess that I did expect something similar to BTS, which is probably unfair given the fact that besides having the same company, they have nothing to do with each other. Calm down, I’m not laminating my stan card just yet. I’m not a MoA, but I think that I could probably consider myself at least a casual fan after this. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe the next comeback will absolutely blow me away.

My Top 5 songs are Lovesong, Run Away, Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go, Dear Sputnik, and Maze In The Mirror, with Skipping Stones as an honorable mention. TXT gets an 8.75 out of 10 from me, which, again, is a surprise for both of us. I do love synth, rock pop, and disco, and I’m excited by the fact that they’ve already written a bunch of songs. Here’s hoping that they keep getting better and they end up getting as much creative freedom as some entirely self-produced groups.

We’ll be covering a girl group next week (that was supposed to be a one parter but accidentally became two posts long, oops), so stay tuned! Tschüss!

[wolverineblues]

ah so, i forgot i like to make a post showing my most listened to albums of the year! im actually not sure i even made one for 2022? anyway.

i think its neat to see how my listening habits vary from year to year. so here's my top 10 listened albums/eps from 2023! according to my last fm stats.

i got really into hardcore music this past year, but mostly the newer big bands atm. i'll have to explore some classic hardcore this year!

1. Merauder - Master Killer one of those bands/albums i had been aware of for awhile but never really checked out until now. great bridge between metal and hardcore favorite track: Master Killer 2. Twitching Tongues - Gaining Purpose Through Passionate Hatred speaking of bridging metal and hardcore! this feels more hardcore-influenced metal to me as opposed to metal-influenced hardcore. good stuff either way. favorite track: Gaining Purpose 3. Abominable Iron Sloth - Abominable Iron Sloth really angry sounding sludge.. rarely have i heard anything full of such rage. i absolutely love this album. favorite track: I Am The Carcass 4. Fleshwater - We're Not Here to Be Loved incredible album bringing back some 90s grunge sounds with modern metal and shoegaze influences. favorite track: The Razor's Apple 5. Mongrel - Off The Leash (EP) been awhile since a 3 song demo excited me! incredible death metal leaning hardcore. cant wait to see what these guys do next. favorite track: Dog Complex 6. Judiciary - Flesh + Blood different yet similar approach from the band on this new album. less crossover thrash, more metallic hardcore, in a good way! favorite track: Engulfed 7. Fuming Mouth - The Grand Descent one of my favorites from 2019 that i revisted this past year. THIS is what we should be calling deathcore, not whatever its thought of as today. death metal and hardcore perfectly mixed. some slight doom and sludge tendencies thrown in for good measure too. favorite track: Burning Hand 8. Twitching Tongues - In Love There Is No Law thought of as their best by many and i see why! it's a journey from start to finish. it perfectly displays the band's range in under 40 minutes. favorite track: Preacher Man 9. Harms Way - Common Suffering kind of different from what i'd normally like but it's cool! very Sepultura and industrial influenced. some Neurosis coming out too? it's all over in a good way. love when bands try to step out of their comfort zone a bit and nail it. favorite track: Wanderer 10. Bleed - Somebody's Closer (EP) reminds me so much of what i would listen to in my early double digits. Chevelle, 10 Years, Crossfade, Evans Blue, etc... in a bit of a similar vein to Fleshwater where they're bringing back some of the best of 90s/early 2000s rock. favorite track: Burnt (By the Sun)

normally i like to tag people too, but since its already April, i won't be doing that lol

[burlveneer-music]

Oiro Pena - Puna - spiritual jazz from Finland, new album out today

Oiro Pena is a Finnish jazz collective helmed by prolific composer Antti Vauhkonen. Their forthcoming album, Puna, recorded in bedrooms, studios and other salubrious locations around Helsinki during 2022, is a mix of lo-fi spiritual jazz, experimental, and avant-garde music forms. It includes four vocal tracks recorded with Merikukka Kiviharju, which feature both original lyrics and those sourced from traditional Finnish folk songs. Vauhkonen first attracted attention as saxophonist in the group Soft Power. He then launched Oiro Pena as solo multi-instrumentalist with two self-titled, astral, outsider jazz 10” EPs, released by Ultraääni in 2019, limited to 200 copies, since repressed three times and seriously in demand. With a background in electronic music, Vauhkonen explains his transition into avant-garde / spiritual jazz: "It came from Krautrock first, I started listening to Can, and searched through all the psychedelic German rock bands. There was a lot of jazzier elements there, horns and saxophones, I think it came from there, and then I found Miles Davis and John Coltrane (and) started listening to the early Sun Ra material." Puna features the interplay of vocalist Merikukka Kiviharju (Fat Chance, Jazzgangsters) on tracks 'Puna', Kaiju Kaiija', 'Kuinka Kukaan' and 'Calamity Caravan', matching with the intensity of Johannes Sarjasto’s saxophone, and Staffan Södergård’s piano. The album, like previous releases is built around Vauhkonen’s propulsive drumming and Philip Holm’s upright bass that provides the band with its forward momentum. Johannes Sarjasto’s flute, so much a part of previous Oiro Pena group recordings, also features on this release.  Antti Vauhkonen: Drums Johannes Sarjasto: Saxophone, Flute Philip Holm: Double Bass Staffan ''Wolf'' Södergård: Piano Merikukka Kiviharju: Vocals Mastered By: Noah Mintz at Lacquer Channel Mastering in Toronto. Artwork: Riina Tanskanen Layout: Steve Lewin

[thisaintascenereviews]

Bring Me The Horizon - Post Human: Survival Horror

Bring Me The Horizon is one of the most popular bands in the world, and they can thank themselves for that, because they started experimenting with outside influences and styles outside of metalcore and deathcore. They started off as a deathcore band that a lot of people hated; I remember the disdain in full force, as I was a huge fan of them around 2008/2009, back when they dropped second album, Suicide Season. Even with that, they went into more of a metalcore sound with that album, but they were very heavy. During the early 2010s, when metalcore was at its most generic and derivative, Bring Me The Horizon released Sempiternal in 2013, and that record introduced alt-metal, nu-metal, and hard-rock into their sound, whereas 2015’s That’s The Spirit properly utilized those sounds and they didn’t have as many breakdowns and heavier moments. Things really changed with 2019’s Amo, in which the band doubled down their outside influences by including pop and electronic music. I really enjoyed that record, as it was the first time I enjoyed a BMTH album in years, but I wondered where they’d go from there.

Well, that’s where Post Human: Survival Horror comes into play. This was supposed to be the first of four EPs, so who knows if we’re getting the other three, but this came out around the start of the pandemic in 2020, and I remember listening to it a couple of times, but I didn’t think too much of it. Fast forward a few years later, and BMTH are not only one of the biggest bands in the world, they’ve been steadily dropping new songs, the latest of which being “Kool-Aid” just a couple of weeks ago, I thought I’d go ahead and revisit this album. It’s not quite an album, I guess, but it’s 32 minutes, so I don’t know. I figured I’d revisit this, and spend some time with it, because I didn’t have anything else to sink my teeth into. I also think it would be worth looking at in retrospect, just to see how well it’s aged, or if it hasn’t.

Thankfully, though, this record has aged quite well, but that’s kind of because Survival Horror seems to be at a crossroads for them. This album reintroduces some elements of metalcore, surprisingly. If you’re a fan of their older material, you’ll like a few tracks here, especially the opener, “Dear Diary,” which is some of the heaviest stuff they’ve done in awhile, but they’re still moving forward in their sound with songs like the Babymetal-assisted “Kingslayer,” or “1X1” with alt-metal / nu-metal duo Nova Twins. Songs like these are both heavy and catchy all at once, but you do have some softer moments, too, such as “Obey” with Yungblud, where it does have some heavier stuff in it, but the backbone of the song is very pop-focused. I’m not personally a huge fan of Yungblud, and I’d say that’s the song that probably works the least for me, but its hook is still really solid.

Closing track “One Day The Only Butterflies Left Will Be In Your Chest” not only has a song title that sounds like it would have been in the mid-00s, but Evanescence’s Amy Lee is featured on this ballad, and my god, it’s gorgeous. This song sounds beautiful. Her angelic vocals add a level of gravitas that makes it work really well, but it’s such a great closer. It’s a great ending for a half hour record, and it never feels as though it’s too long or dragging. This record has the distinction of having songs that are memorable and are distinguished from each other, but they all flow together, nonetheless. Frontman Oliver Sykes is a good reason for that, too, and I haven’t mentioned him much here so far, but wow, he’s so good. His voice has gotten better over the years, and he has a good range within his clean vocals and harsh vocals, but the addition of harsher vocals on this record is a good one, because he handles it well.

The rest of the band is good, too, and the instrumentation is a good complement to him. This record isn’t all just pop hooks and breakdowns, either, but to be fair, the hooks are really good. Sykes and company are one of the best bands in this style that utilize hooks, and Sykes has a way with writing catchy hooks, and this record is no exception. I hadn’t listened to this album in a few years, and I remembered it quite well. There are a handful of really cool riffs and solos, too, and it’s surprising coming from this band, but I perked my ears up every time I heard something interesting and that did something cool, such as a solo, a really unique breakdown, or something interesting, but I enjoy this quite a lot. If you’re like me, and you jumped ship after a certain point with these guys, or you still like them and just want to see them go back to a heavier sound, you’ll probably like this. The best thing about this record is that it doesn’t feel as though they’re trying to pander, but they’re just trying to incorporate older sounds, and it works very well. If anything, and from the new songs they’ve put out, too, I’m excited for another record from these guys.

[concerthopperblog]

So Much For (Tour) Dust-W/ Fall Out Boy, Bring Me the Horizon, Royal & The Serpent, and Games We Play

When I heard that Fall Out Boy was set to hit the road this summer with Bring Me The Horizon, I knew that this was going to be a show that I could not miss. Both bands have help shape my music taste today. What better way to spend a Friday night than to see two awesome bands perform together. For this particular date of the tour, the band is also playing with Royal & The Serpent and Games We Play. Upon arrival to the venue the traffic leading up was at a standstill for at least a mile. Unfortunately, due to the time it took to get into the venue I was unable to capture photos of Games We Play even though we arrived early to the venue.

Games We Play is a pop punk trio that when viral overnight, after posing a teaser of their new song “Deadbeat” on Tik Tok. The video of the singer and his wife, has over a million views. If you are a fan of bands like All Time Low, Real Friends and State Champs, then you will definitely want to add Games We Play to your list of up-and-coming artists to listen to. Games We Play is the first band to step foot on stage for the night. They expressed their excitement for being on tour with Fall Out Boy. They played a few songs and to bring some energy to the crowd they played a cover of “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers. Another cool thing I noticed about this band, the singer Emmyn, joined us in the photo pit to take photos of Royal & The Serpent’s Set.

Royal & The Serpent, also known as Ryan Santiago, is a singer song writer from New Jersey. She independently debuted her first single “Temperance” back in 2017. In an interview with Prelude Press she explains what the name Royal & The Serpent means, it translates to Me + My Ego also explaining that “Duality is the essence of our human experience.” In 2019 Royal & The Serpent was signed with Atlantic Records. She has 3 EP’s and a bunch of singles that has been released to date. After the release of her 3rd EP, IF I DIED WOULD ANYONE CARE she got the opportunity to go out on the road with Demi Lovato on her Holy Fvck Tour. I was not expecting to actually leave this show finding another artist that I enjoy listening too. When the other photographers & I were hanging out in the VIP area before Bring Me The Horizon came out, we heard a song that sounded familiar. It’s called “Overwhelmed”, I have heard it plenty of times at shows and in some Tik Tok videos, but I did not expect it to actually be a Royal & The Serpent song. Royal & The Serpent are for sure a band I will be adding to my must listen to list.

Bring Me The Horizon is a British Rock band from Sheffield forming back in 2006. The band has 8 albums released to date. The band has such a large variety of musical stylings, due to the idea of each album that they released should be different from the last, they have experimented with mixing electronica, nu metal, pop and rock trying to get away from the metalcore sound from earlier albums. The band has collaborated with artist’s that I wouldn’t expect them to work with such as Halsey, Lil Uzi Vert, and Ed Sheeran. No matter what album you are listening to, I feel like Bring Me The Horizon has a song for everyone. I’ve listened to them since I was an early teenager and even now, I can still enjoy the new music they are producing. When Bring Me The Horizon finally graced us with their presence, I got super excited and was ready for what they were going to play for us that night. They played a bunch of fan favorites such as “Can You Feel My Heart", “Throne”, and “Happy Song.” There were fans there from all over, I was looking at some of the signs the fans had drew and one of them asked Oli Sykes to draw her next Bring Me The Horizon tattoo, which I thought was an awesome idea especially if you are a super fan. During their set Oli wanted the fans to step it up a notch and he kept asking them to mosh because the first two mosh pits were “sh*t.” I absolutely loved their set, since I was able to hear all my favorite songs by them and even see them for the first time live on top of being able to take photos of them was unimaginable.

Fall Out Boy is an American Rock band from Chicago Illinois, they formed back in 2001. Fall Out Boy was one of the main bands that introduced me to Pop-Rock and Pop-Punk with their catchy songs such as “Thnks fr th Mmrs” and “Sugar, We’re Going Down.” This band has had a variety of accomplishments in their career, they have won many awards such as artist of the year, multiple best music video awards, favorite alternative band and many more. Before Fall Out Boy even had the chance to step out on stage the fans at the barricades were going crazy. When the curtains were going up, I was not expecting what happened next, I jumped a little bit each time this happened. Fall Out Boy came out blasting, the band had fireworks going off and fire going off at all the high points of the songs. I loved the energy that they had to give, the singer Patrick Stump, was swinging his guitar around and hitting all those notes hard. I loved the fact that Pete Wenz had a flame thrower attached to his guitar. As we were leaving the pit, I noticed that a fan was waving around a sign that said, “I came here from London to make sure that this tour was real”. I loved that this tour had fans coming from all over the country to see them let alone coming from another country.

[rubyfire777]

personal update 9.30.2023 🌷🌻🌼🐛🦋🍀

good things that happened this week:

i took lily out for her early birthday dinner, since she was going to be out of town. we shared a fancy grilled cheese and an order of scotch eggs at a fantasy themed bar ❤❤❤

we got to hang out really late together before her really early flight. we watched fallen angels which was a really beautiful movie, then g4m3rs which was not a beautiful movie but was still fun to watch with her. we snuggled a lot 🥺❤❤❤ i ended up falling asleep before she had to get ready to go but only for a couple hours, and i was able to wake up to (coherently) say goodbye and that i love her and give her a kiss :)

i prepped a big meal that was kind of a mess but ended up being really good and feeding me for several days without having to worry

movie night with quint! the movie we watched, oldboy, disappointed but i was glad to watch it with him all the same

i had a very efficient chores day on thursday where i got lots done and pretty much cleaned the whole house. i felt really accomplished without feeling like i pushed it too hard

i finished up a chunk of writing ive been putting off! and feel a little more in the writing mood as a result

bowling night was just me and darren this week so we went to that really good barbecue place again instead of getting pizza and bowled a couple games and played some air hockey :)

hung out with my dad for a few hours on saturday! i got to show him f-zero 99 and talk to him about cool modern indies and eat pizza with him and be reminded of how much he has and continues to learn and grow. i feel very grateful that we've come so far and very happy that hes becoming a happier person

i had time to listen to lots of new stuff this week!! and some of it was really really good

my wife just generally having fun on her trip :) <333

noticing ptsd progress this week :)

new art experiences:

albums:

surgery (machinery of the human heart, 2022)

hang-ups (phone call, 2016)

shrapnel flux: veiled terminal (purity filter, 2022)

digital princess (keisari / turbo, 2019)

club angels ep (jensen interceptor & dj fuckoff, 2022)

mocomoco (plissh, 2011)

welcome to aloe island (aloe island posse, 2014)

blood eagle (sabrepulse, 2015)

platonic planet (koto, 2015)

bye bye teens lullaby (koto, 2018)

magical metamorphosis (ghost data, 2017)

movies:

fallen angels (dir. wong kar-wai, 1995)

g4m3rs: a documentary (dir. kiyash monsef, 2002)

oldboy (dir. park chan-wook, 2003)

[alec-1016]

hi, this is a sleep-drunk vent session. pls feel free to ignore

cw: childhood.(idk, its not trauma, but it wasnt pleasant), internalized ableism, internalized transphobia, internalized misogyny, depression, anxiety, mentions of ed, sh and su1cide

also spelling errors

so, i just wanna vent abt liking shit. i grew up in a very privileged house, w both my parents being uni professors, so it was a very...intellectual house

i also grew up autistic. i was very often praised for being "good", quiet, smart, speaking in words too advanced for my age, reading and writing abovd my grade level, etc. so it kinda became "obvious" that i would become intellectually inclined, like my parents and older sisters

oh yeah, there is an eleven year age gap between me and my older sister, and a fourteen year gap begween me and my oldest sister. i grew up with adults.

there were barely any chdren for me to play w outside of school, so i decided i was better off alone. i read, drew, madr up complex imaginary scenarios in my head. i also tried to listen in and even participate in the adults discussions, and that also got me praise. i have always been a people pleaser.

so after i grew a bit, by like, middle school, i thiught i couldnt like kids things anymore. but i ciuldnt like teen things either bc i wasnt old enough for that. so i didnt really like stuff. i hid my special interests(harry p*tter🤢🤢 and riordanverse, mostly) from basically everyone, and threw myself into school

i have had anxiety ever since i can remember, and some symptoms of depression presented as early as 11. i have a cousin that is also deeply depressed, and that has been throigh roigher patchrs than i have. i always saw her as kinda my reslomsability, bc i was "well" and she wasnt. well, bc of all that, she loved to make fum of me. her parents used to unintentionally put us against each other and compare us, bc i wad the golden child and she was FUCKING DEPRESSED AND DIDNT LIKE SCHOOL BC PPL KEPT BULLYING HER AND COMPARING HER TO ME.

she made fun of everything i liked, and sometimes i even discovered that she liked the stuff too, she just wanted to seem batter than me in something. which i got at the time, and still get, but it fucking hurt and it made me fearful of ever liking things, in fear of being made fun of

which takes me to another place: school. i was made fun of for basically everything, and i just recently realized i was bullied for my autistic traits: not getting jokes and sarcasm, speaking differently, being too nerdy, too shy, too stupid, too slow, too much. i was always too much and never enough at the same time, never enough for ppm to like me

dont get me wrong i had friends. some amazing ppl that i still hold dear, some not so much. but it was hard knowing most of my class didnt care for me.

i also went through a "not like other girls" phase, where i thought if i liked boybands, tvshows, celebrities, gossip, etc, i was the most vain and uninteresting human being to ever exist, and no one would like me. so i forced myself to walk away. i didnt have a boyband phase or a tv show i binged untill i was 14/15, bc i didnt let myself get invested. i thought only "interesting, non basic" " girls" got to live their romances that i always dreamed of.

i got really hooked on shadowhunters through 2019 and 2020, even attended an online con that i almost didnt tell my mom abaout because i was so ashamed and scardd of being seen as...a kid, that i was(am). i didnt want to be immature enough to invest myself on celebrity gossip and tv shows. i was supposed to study, maybe read some ya books, but mostly classics.

throught he pandemic i got hit with some of my worst depressive episodes, suicidal thoughts, body dysmorphia, disordered eating, anxiety and gender dyphoria. and guilt for feeling all of those while being in a very orivileged situation.

so i turned inwards, like i always did, eps when things got difficult. i read and re-read so many books, binge watched tv shows, barely talked to anyone outside of class. i started letting myself like things, but still felt guilty at every turn, which fueled all of my worst instincts

i still feel guilty for liking "stupid" things. for liking tv shows and thirsting over characters and rereading books and following popular creators. i dont wanna lose the label of "smart" that i always thought was my best quality.

i still try no to show i like things, recently ive been hyperfixated on titans, esp. brenton thwaites and dick grayson bc i am a massive bisexual w a massive crush. and i wanna fo something that i always try to do when i like/obsess with an actor: watch as much of their fulms as i can. even if they are bad. even if they had the budged of 5 dollars plus a camera. i dont care. but i feel so fucking stupid for not caring bc it shouldnt be some pretty face that draws me to a film

it should be the photography(which i absolutely love, btw) or the theme, or the director or whatever it is film buffs use to pick movies. this is where the internalized transphobia and misogyny come in at full force: society doesnt let teenage girls get away with liking anything w/o being made fun of. they are called obsessed, crazy, stalkers, vain, stupid, dumb,etc. and i feel like i am. that is the worst.its as if i agree w all those horrivle things ppl say abt girls and liking things, and it makes me dysphoric. it is so weird how this abstract conceot of being seen as a vain stuoid teen girl can make me feel bad abt my identity.

(btw girls who like stuff. yall are the backbone of yhis site, you are smart, creative, funny, and i lovs you with all my heart)

i also realized i dont know how to a man in fandom.how to be a fanboy and not a fangirl. is it any different? do i have to be more closed off? do i have to speak less? was i actually right to shut up abt my interests this whole time? is that part of the masculine in me? if so, why does it hurt so much, when being masc in every other way feels soo good, so freeing?

this is much longer than it was intended or ever needed to be, and yet it covers like, half of my psychological issues lol.

this is me trying to give myself permussion to watch other works w brenton thwaites lol

if you relate in ny way shaoe or form to this, i am sorry, i love you, and you are allowed to like things.

[medicatedonwater]

Dies ist nur ein music review

So sometime last year i met this rad girl who also listened to warped tour bands. As she described it it’s like she started in the 2010s or something and just never stopped. And for me, I started around 2009 like rly seriously playing the 04-06 albums on repeat playing halo and suddenly clicking with “The Phrase that Pays” by The Academy Is…

That song totally kicked off a series of me getting hella invested in punk rock / emo / etc but i never had like an actual scene phase and i’m living it now haha. I so wish i’d listened to the albums these songs had come from. I wonder how it could have influenced my life back then, but whatever, i’m still here now and finally getting to it!!

I at first wanted to listen to all the Warped Tour Compilations and i was sad to see FUCKING TWTTR killed warped tour. fkn garbage fire site. (well, warped tour SHOULD be coming back next year and i am so hella hyped i can’t wait to get the most exquisite sunburn as i claw and scrape my way to the oasis that is a hose of fresh? water.)

I quickly got through all the warped tour albums from 1996 through 2018? 2019? lotsa music i missed out on. stuff i really wish i *had* been around for but most of the 2010s is voided out for me, between floundering around in college and part time jobs and rediscovering alternative music around 2015. This project intends to listen to the full discography of *every* artist with a song on a warped tour compilation. I’m skipping the DVDs but also including the punk-o-rama albums which did a crossover with warped tour in 1997, and including the european and australian tours cuz why the hell not. Throwing in the local stations top songs list starting at 1997 cuz of how much they’ve influenced my modern taste in music. I’m mostly using spotify - for artists not on spotify i’m just listening to the album (or single/EP) that particular listing came from. youtube is clunky as hell with no background play and i need some form of organization and spotify i have hella mix CDs on…

Anyway, the first album is Punk-o-rama from 1994, with FUCKING, BAD RELIGION. OH MY GOSH IVE WANTED TO listen to these guyses discography for AGES.

I honestly, like, right out the gate they’ve very politically on fire, like, they’re saying the kinds of things people need to fucking hear. they’re so real for it, and as they grow older some of the stuff is kinda tamer, the sound softens a bit, but hot damn if “the kids are alt-right” doesn’t point out the ongoing problems that still need solvation.

and of course they’ve got the classic crazy taxi songs too :D (omg can’t wait to hear the offspring tooooooo)

I recall the warped tour i attended back in 05 that bad religion had performed there the previous day. I don’t believe they were there for that particular warped tour date tho. I would absolutely love to see them live or at the very least get some merch :3 they’re just so, raw. so real. “Punk Rock Song” is still stuck in my head, and i’ve already moved on to NoFX (which, holy fuck they start out crass but mb it’s the bias speaking… they get good FAST)

Bad religion was a great time through and through, ramping up to No Control with some real bangers. Against the Grain had the song “21st Century (Digital Boy)” which I’d all but forgotten about since my first exposure to it nearly four years ago. Stranger than Fiction and The Grey Race had some of my old favorites like “Infected” and “Ten in 2010” with “Gods Love” coming along in 2003. New Maps of Hell for whatever reason lives in my head as a rly good album.

A lot of that early energy was really important for setting the stage for an awesome presence.

Apparently liked 98 Songs… this may go down over time but hey, they’re good. heck.

The particular showing for Punk-O-Rama was “Do What You Want” from Suffer in 1998. Can’t say I entirely remember the track, oh wait hang on, guess i’ll break all the fucking rules and go to hell with superman!! yeah no this song is lit af. love this scene. i gotttttta see these guys at some point.

Next on the docket is NoFX… I’m to “Usa-Holes” off Wolves in wolves clothing.

See, I knew I was amongst cool folx when i went to a party and this dude had a bad religion shirt.

Looking forward to more from this project!

OH, I TOTALLY FOUND TOUR WATER THE OTHER DAY AND IT FKN AWAKENED SOMETHING IN ME.